Bullying is never OK
You may feel like you are the only person being bullied, but if you are in a class of 25 students, there are probably 3-5 others in your class who are also being bullied.
Bullying really has nothing to do with the way you look or behave – it happens because the bully has a problem.
You may start to believe that what the bullies say about you is true, or that you somehow deserve the treatment you are getting.
But it isn’t true!
Bullies may threaten you that if you tell, things will get worse. They threaten you because they know what they are doing is wrong, and if they get found out they will get into trouble.
The only person who wants the bullying to be a secret is the bully, so why help them?
What you can do
The best thing you can do is tell an adult who can get the bullying stopped.
An adult has the ability to talk to the bully, and also has the power to give consequences if it doesn’t stop.
You could write a note to your teacher to say that you need to talk to them when no other kids are around.
You could go straight to the Principal, or get a parent to call the school for you.
Be assertive, look them in the eye and tell them to stop.
Even though you may be scared, try to sound confident. Keep it short and firm eg “I don’t like being called gay. Stop calling me that.” and then walk away.
It is a good idea to practice beforehand what you are going to say.
Get away from the bully as quickly as possible.
After speaking firmly, walk away and try to get where there are other people, or to a safe place.
If the bully is continually putting you down or name calling, act as if what they say has no affect on you.
You can say things like “Yeah whatever” or “You think??”
Keep a diary of what is happening.
Keep note of the date, time, place, who, what happened, witnesses.
If an adult gives you some bad advice, note that too.
If you are being ignored, given “the silent treatment”, it is good to keep a note of that. eg the only person who spoke to me today was the teacher or I asked Jo to play today at interval and s/he just stared at me and walked away.
The best thing you can do is tell an adult who can get the bullying stopped.
The adults don’t need to tell the bully who reported them. They can just say “we have had a complaint about you bullying (your name).”
The adults at school want it to be a safe place for you. But they can’t help if they don’t know about the bullying.
Bullying is wrong…
Don’t blame yourself.
Don’t take responsibility for the bullying and try to deal with it yourself.
You are not being childish by asking an adult for help. There are many people who care about you and what happens to you.
If you don’t know the bully’s name, observe them carefully – height, age, hair colour, clothes, anything that will help identify them. Looking at school class photos may help if it is someone at your school.
Avoid being alone whenever possible. A lone person makes an easy target for a bully
Tell an adult in authority.
Tell someone you trust in your family.
If this adult doesn’t help, keep telling adults until someone helps.
If you are afraid to tell, ask someone to go with you.
Tell an adult…
What has happened.
How often it has happened.
Who was involved.
Who saw it happening.
When and where it happened.
What you have done about it.
Getting Help
Many people are trying to stop bullying from happening, so you shouldn’t have to look far to get help.
The best people to help are those who are close and who care about you, or are in positions of responsibility… eg teachers, parents, coaches, leaders, counsellors.
Even though others may see the bullying and not do anything about it, that doesn’t mean they agree with it.
They may not know what to do, and they may be afraid that the bully will pick on them.
Sometimes bullying does get worse after you report them, because the adult has not dealt with it well, or the bully hasn’t taken it seriously.